As pissed as a fart British vulgar slang simile
The noun "fart" can be replaced by "newt".
To be awfully drunk to the point of losing all cognitive function
I think you should call a cab to get home because you're as pissed as a fart.
Randy was pissed as a fart at the party and didn't recall what had happened.
To be very drunk
1. To stretch or lengthen something, usually a string or cord of some type
2. To extend, postpone, or make longer than it usually would
1. Be foolish or stupid
2. Be drunk
1. The full capacity of a skin container.
2. An amount of alcohol that is enough to get drunk
1. Not functioning properly
2. Drunken
The expression came from Nelson's time. At that time, Royal Navy junior ensigns were known as "newts." Since they were so young, they can get drunk easily with just a little amount of rum.
To be very wet
Because of forgetting bringing an umbrella, I look like a drowned rat when it rains.